The Needle And The Damage Done

I’ve seen the needle

and the damage done

A little part of it in everyone

But every junkie’s like a settin’ sun.

My name is Allison and I am an addict.

Today I celebrate one year of freedom from drugs and alcohol. I am in a very different place now than I was then, both figuratively and literally. That first night I laid there restrained to a bed in the Emergency Department of Kaiser Hospital in Roseville, CA after a suicide attempt earlier in the day. I was moved a to a psychiatric hospital then a half-way house before I was released twelve days later under the condition that I begin attending 12 Step meetings. Thus began my path to recovery. It has not been easy by any means, I have spent many nights wishing for just one drink, or just one pill. But somehow I am here, I am alive and I am clean.

The last year has been the most difficult of my life, dealing the early stages of my transition, with unemployment, homelessness, and a move clear across the country in the early days of my recovery. I spent six months bouncing around between friends houses, motels, and the streets before I found a job, and eventually an apartment of my own. I am not cured,  I can never drink or use any of the many other substances that I used to use to escape reality even again.The temptation has never gone away, what has changed is my reaction to that temptation. Recovery isn’t easy, all I can do is try my hardest to stay clean.

Just For Today.

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