These Dreams – (TRIGER WARNING)

Yesterday was my first day on Seroquel XR. I had been taking the quick release version but it wasn’t helping to stop the voices. I felt like a zombie most of the day and stumbled around like I was drunk. When it was time for bed I had little difficulty falling asleep but the dreams I was having were vivid and intense.

I dreamt that I was killed in the Vietnam War (which is odd because the Vietnam War ended when I was six years old) yet was fully aware of what was happening after my death. There I was, in the jungle in a huge fire fight. I moved forward to help a friend who was pinned down and stepped on a land mine, killing me instantly. As the smoke cleared I could feel my left leg which had been blown off in the blast, land about there feet away from me. I could feel the medics pick up my lifeless body and put me in a body bag. After being carried off the battle field I was placed in a wooden casket and loaded onto a cargo plane so my remains could be sent home. The flight was noisy and turbulent and I bounced around in my casket. The plane finally landed at Dover Air Force Base in Delaware.

Before I was carried off the plane an American flag was draped over the casket. Six marines in full dress uniforms picked up the casket and placed me in a black Cadillac hearse. The ride seemed to take forever and the next thing I knew I was at Arlington National Cemetery, surrounded by an honor guard. My friends and family sat in folding chairs nearby. I heard gunfire, the time honored salute to fallen warriors. Amazing Grace was played by a single bagpiper.  The flag was lifted off the casket and I watched four gloved hands fold it in a neat triangle and present it to my parents with the words “Thank you from a grateful nation”. With the flag removed I was able to soak in the sunshine. Even though the casket was sealed I could still view the wispy clouds in the sky above me. Then the most solemn of military traditions; I heard Taps being played on a bugle. When the bugler was finished my casket was lowered into the ground. After the guests had paid their final respects and left the cemetery the grave was filled in with dirt and a white marble headstone was placed to mark my final resting place.


One comment

  1. Hey hun. Just wanted to let you know that I have a different blog now at
    I won’t be posting on the old site anymore, but I wanted to stay connected with you. On my new blog I’ll be talking about the same stuff, more openly. Hope to see you there.

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