Baby Steps

I’m going through a very rough patch recently. Yesterday I spent the entire day in the dark wrapped in a blanket clutching a bottle of Seroquel tablets trying to find the nerve to swallow the entire bottle. At some point I posted something on Facebook that caught the attention of a couple of old friends who reached out to me to see if I was ok. They convinced me to call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-8522. I spoke with them for about half an hour, the lady I spoke with was trying to convince me to go to the Emergency Room. I didn’t go to the ER but she did get me to calm down just enough to convince me to put the pills away and try to get some sleep.

I woke up this morning feeling slightly better. I have around twenty fresh cuts on my arm but the pills are still in the cabinet. I turned on the lights and made myself some coffee. I forced myself to get dressed. I haven’t eaten anything in a couple of days, I really should go to the grocery store to get something to eat, but I don’t know if I can. Baby steps.


One comment

  1. Remember, there’s light…in some desolate, hopeless corner of the world. And that light is what you must keep looking for. That light will lead you up to the lighthouse where there will be happiness and joy all around you. Keep telling yourself,”This too shall pass”, for it does. Nothing is permanent. Not even the hopelessness you feel at this moment.

    Remember, your life can change, if you are willing to find that light. You’ll be happier, better, with timeless stories in your backpack. Just hold on to the withering thread of hope. Hold on to the hope that there’s light if you keep on walking. Hold on to the fact that someday… You’ll be the happiest soul around. That will be your day to shine; your chance to reach up high in the sky.

    And look? You’re almost there! Baby steps. That’s a leap in itself.

    Keep strong.


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