I’m going through a very rough patch recently. Yesterday I spent the entire day in the dark wrapped in a blanket clutching a bottle of Seroquel tablets trying to find the nerve to swallow the entire bottle. At some point I posted something on Facebook that caught the attention of a couple of old friends who reached out to me to see if I was ok. They convinced me to call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-8522. I spoke with them for about half an hour, the lady I spoke with was trying to convince me to go to the Emergency Room. I didn’t go to the ER but she did get me to calm down just enough to convince me to put the pills away and try to get some sleep.
I woke up this morning feeling slightly better. I have around twenty fresh cuts on my arm but the pills are still in the cabinet. I turned on the lights and made myself some coffee. I forced myself to get dressed. I haven’t eaten anything in a couple of days, I really should go to the grocery store to get something to eat, but I don’t know if I can. Baby steps.