Your Trigger is Not My Trigger

I’ve walked away from AA. I prefer to go to Narcotic Anonymous over Alcoholics Anonymous anyway because NA is all inclusive. The Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text tells us “Thinking of alcohol as different from other drugs has caused a great number of addicts to relapse. Before we came to NA many of us viewed alcohol separately but we cannot afford to be confused about this. Alcohol is a drug”  This passage is read at every meeting to remind us that it is not the substance, it is the disease of addiction that is the problem.

I had been attending more AA meetings than NA meetings simply because there are far more meetings for Alcoholics Anonymous, so they are easier to get to. The more I go to the AA meetings though, the more bothered I am. People at the meetings demonize alcohol, and don’t take a look at the disease. I am bothered by meetings ending with the Lord’s Prayer more and more with every meeting. I am not a Christian (I am not a member of any organized religion for that matter) and offended that a Christian Prayer is said at every meeting.

The other thing that has been bothering me wit AA recently is the “one problem fits all” attitude that many people have. I am tired of people telling me what I should do because what they are saying is what they need to do. I understand that holidays are stressful and for many people this can be a trigger that will make them want to drink. Because holidays are a trigger for many there are extra meetings, including one that runs from 7pm New Year’s Eve until 7am New Years Day. I’ve had several people at meeting tell me I have to go to this super long meeting.

I understand New Year’s is a trigger for people, it’s not for me. Even in the deepest depths of my active addiction I didn’t drink on New Year’s Eve. I think it has been at least 20 years since the last time I had a drink on New year’s Eve. Why? It’s amateur night. It’s the night that people who drink 3 or 4 times a year get shit faced make an ass out of themselves drunk. I am a professional drunk. I took my first drink at 3 years old and began drinking on a regular basis when I was 12. I don’t need a stupid holiday as an excuse to drink. If I had money and wasn’t currently at work that was all I needed. I appreciate the concern, but I’m good…  your trigger is not my trigger.

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