Demons Resurfacing

Things have been going well lately until today. I’m getting overwhelming cravings for opiates. I keep having visions of downing a handful of pills or even sticking a needle in my arm. The needle visions in particular scare me. Heroin is a huge problem in the area I am living and it can often be purchased for less than marijuana. I only ever used a needle once and that was years ago. Why the thoughts are popping into me head is beyond me. I have a sponsor in AA, but have been unable to find one in NA. My sponsor is sweet, but she simply doesn’t understand drug addiction. When I told her what my drug of choice (Norco) was, she didn’t even know what it was. It’s gonna be a rough ride for a while.

Advertisements

2 comments

  1. Please, please, please, please don’t give into your thoughts. You’re better than that. You have a new job that you apparently like and where you can work as YOU. Your world is just now starting to straighten out. There are a bunch of people who care about you – otherwise, you wouldn’t have people to advance the $ to you for your apartment, plus given you furniture.

    I don’t know of any specific hotlines that you can use for BPD and your addictions, but CALL them. Don’t go back down that “rathole” again. You’re too good a person for that, Allison.
    XOXO and hugs, Marie

What Say You?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s