Polyamory is Bullshit

Polyamory is bullshit. Total and complete bullshit.  Your refusal to grow the fuck up and focus on someone other than yourself is demential to everyone around you. I am sick and tired of hearing people say “this is just how I am, I can’t change it”. Bullshit. You know what you are? Selfish. “I need to love more than one person”. Bullshit. You are too fucking immature and selfish to settle down and take responsibility for your relationship. How the fuck is it possible that someone would risk destroying their relationship with someone they profess to love more than they ever thought possible because they “need to love more than one person”?  How could someone risk their child losing a parental figure because they “need to love more than one person”?  How is it even possible?

I am not a prude by any stretch of the imagination. I have had over two hundred sex partners. If I am unpartnered and not in a relationship I will have sex with many people. But once I enter a relationship, that’s it. I’ve chosen you, I’m sticking with you. If I invite you to share my bed and my home I expect you to treat me with the same level of respect that I am treating you. This need to “love more than one person” is unacceptable. I have observed these so called “poly” relationships my entire adult life and I have never seen it work. Not once. All it does is destroy trust and respect for each other and those around them. It leads to resentment and bitterness. It does damage that can never be undone.

Yes, it’s true that many monogamous relationships fail. Having been divorced three times I can attest to the fact that some monogamous relationships don’t work out. But you know what? Many do. I have seen many, many monogamous relationships last years, some have even lasted decades. I have seen many relationships where two people end up together until they die. Yet I have never seen a poly relationship last more than a year. You know why? Because polyamory is bullshit.

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9 comments

  1. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone admit to being polyamorous online without giving four or five paragraphs of rationalization and justification afterwards, that alone makes me skeptical.

    I’m not totally against polyamory, if you don’t want to commit to anyone and you just want to be free to enjoy casual sex or if you don’t think you could be mono without hurting anyone and chose to remain single and your upfront with your beliefs than hey more power to you. What I have a problem with is “Open” relationships because they just sound like BS to me. I find it hard to believe that one or both parties involved won’t end resenting each other eventually. Even if you completely ignore jealousy as an issue I still have my doubts about it because I think there are a lot real world issue besides human emotions. For example If both people have full time jobs and see other people on the side how often do you really spend time with your “primary?” There are only 24 hours in a day, it just sounds unsustainable to me. I’ve actually see people who defend “open” relationships refer to actual human beings as their “primary” and “secondary” which is so dehumanizing it makes my head spin, I’m sure the partner on the side really likes being a secondary concern.

    I have no experience with this bullshit so obviously its just my worthless opinion but I think there’s a reason why 99% of the human race finds it sleazy.

  2. Maybe that’s why this post just sounds like a bitter, angry, and jealous person lashing out at those who CAN get past all the jealousy and hurt feelings.

  3. “I have seen many relationships where two people end up together until they die. Yet I have never seen a poly relationship last more than a year.”

    Here you sound like one of those conservative heterosexuals who claim homosexuality is uncommon and unnatural because they’ve never encountered it (or long-term relationships of it). The reason they never have? Because, due to their bigotry, none of their friends or acquaintances feels comfortable ‘coming out’ to them.

    By your logic, parents ought never have more than one child, because they are incapable of loving more than one person. Love is not a zero-sum game. People don’t have a fixed amount of love that can be calculated in units so that the majority of it can be dumped into the vessel of one other human being. Poly is completely possible, and a wonderful experience to enjoy. Sorry to hear that you’ve tried poly and it didn’t work out for you. Like with all relationships, what matters are the people involved and the level of trust and communication shared between them.

    1. I am far from heterosexual. I am a pansexual transsexual woman. This blog serves as my journal. I write about my feelings good or bad as I experience them. I will not debate the positives or negatives of polyamory. This is not the place for that.

  4. I have been in a polyfidelous triad for going on 4 years. We are raising one child together, a brilliant little girl with a wonderful worldview and much happiness. We are expecting two more. I am very proud of my family, our challenges and our successes.

    I am not an active part of any polyamourous community, so I am always confused by these rants. I don’t particularly want to live some amorphous ‘many people’. I do love and respect two other people who feel the same about me and each other. We volunteer in our community, contribute to our disciplines and industries, pay taxes, vote, engage in debate and otherwise respect and accept the rest of our society. I think expecting the same from my society is really all I’m looking for. That and maybe an understanding that not all non-monogamous relationships are stereotypes.

    1. Once again, this is my personal blog, where I post my personal feelings. I wrote this post over a year ago regarding my own personal situation. I will not argue the merits of one type of relationship over another. This is not the place for that.

  5. The comments on this post are now closed. This blog serves as my diary where I post my own feelings and thoughts. I never intended to discuss or debate Polyamory. If I ever do decide to get into that debate I will do it in an appropriate space, not someone’s diary. Thank you.

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